Tacos I Have Known and Loved*: Tortilla Cafe

Tortilla Cafe. Photo by María Helena Carey

The asterisk is a disclaimer. The title that should be heading today’s post should read, “Tacos I have known and, while I respected their taco-ness and ate every single crumb, ‘love’ might be stretching things a bit.”

I did not love the tacos at Tortilla Cafe.

Before you all get very mad at me, let me start by saying that Tortilla Cafe, 210 7th Street SE, is a great place to eat. Not only has it been officially “blessed” by Guy Fieri  as a worthy …. diner? Dive? I mean, it’s certainly not a drive-in, and by the way, it’s spelled “pupusa,” Guy’s minions! But I digress.

Tortilla Cafe had already earned my admiration on account of their juicy rotisserie chicken, which you can get at the restaurant or over at Canales Deli, in Eastern Market. When I ordered the tacos at Tortilla Cafe, however, I instantly wished I could have anything else on the menu. A couple of Men in Blue were having the half chicken with yucca fries; some office workers were fawning over a couple of huge, healthy-looking burritos that could have been mistaken for newborn babies. Over at Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling, the office staff where I was running an errand right after eating at Tortilla Cafe were beside themselves with joy, eating fajitas and pupusas, and squealing after every bite: a coworker had just made a run to “this awesome little place on the Hill called Tortilla Cafe.”

No sentence in a taco review should start with “at least it’s not Taco Bell,” but at least Tortilla Cafe’s tacos are not Taco Bell. (Disclaimer: the author has eaten her share of Taco Bell, even while pregnant. She is a shameless taco consumer. She also buried this sentence farther down in the review. She enjoys making disclaimers in the third person.)

The taco portion consists of two tacos– they offer al carbon (steak or chicken), salmon, seafood, and tilapia. The default envelope is wheat, but you can request corn. The tortillas are of unknown provenance. The tacos al carbon come served with a chopped salad featuring iceberg lettuce and tomatoes. The pico de gallo came in a 1 oz. plastic tub. I requested guacamole on my first visit, because at $0.25 for the side, it was not to be passed up.

Taco plate at Tortilla Cafe. Photo by María Helena Carey.

The pico de gallo was not especially bright-tasting, but it was adequate– there was just not enough of it. The meat was very juicy and good, but, there was not enough of it. And if you want to know what $0.25 of guacamole looks like, make a circle with your thumb and forefinger. The guacamole seemed to mixed up with a vinegar sauce that made the consistency a little runnier than usual, and the color something closer to “chimichurri” than “chimichanga!”

Overall, the tacos are just fine if you really have to have a taco (and sometimes, you just HAVE to have a taco). However, for the pleasure of eating, anything else on the menu will make you a lot happier.

To the taco rubric!

Why this taco is good: Good, fresh meat/chicken/fish and fresh vegetables chopped as sides. Appropriate for those looking to spend less than $10 for lunch per person, or on a diet.

What could be better about this taco: There could be more of it, for starters. The guacamole could be better and more plentiful (it was , but I suppose that’s why it’s only $0.25 extra. There was a serious lack of any kind of dressing, relish, or topper. The pico de gallo portion was not generous, and it was not enough to distribute between two tacos. I didn’t leave hungry, but I left in a terrible state of food envy.

Corn or flour tortilla: Both are available; neither is made in-house.

Why you should give it a try: Because you are bound to disagree with me, mostly. But with the great array of menu options that are better than the tacos, you would be doing yourself a disservice. There. I said it.

Have the pupusas instead. I hear Guy Fieri really likes them.