Y’all. Just… y’all. Sometimes words are not enough to describe the epic fuckery that goes on. And on that note, I’m pretty sure that the word “fuckery” is close to what got me kicked out of Instagram… again. You see, when you have teen kids and they send you messages and you send them messages, bots are always watching you, and not in the creepy-but-romantic way that Sting promised he would. And sometimes, you drop an F-word in said chat and bots think you’re a creep. Anyway. On to some news because I know I’ve neglected this column. What’s going on?
First up, a Tweet from WAMU’s Alex Koma, proving that even the direst of situations (i.e. being out A BILLION DOLLARS from our budget) is not a threat that was actually realized. So, you know, let’s keep the faith. Alex Koma on Ex-Twitter
Which means that the DC Streetcar is shuttering for good because… well, because a whole bunch of people hated it from the start– let’s just be honest there. WaPo
Employees at Belga Café were attacked this past weekend. Just awful. NBC Washington
In Phoenix last week, I rode a Waymo for the first time and it was equal parts mesmerizing and mildly horrifying– like a high-tech version of the Headless Horseman driving you around. While I believe Waymo could be a game changer, this Washington Post Editorial Board opinion seems a little tainted, considering that WaPo’s moneyed owner stands to gain a lot financially from greenlighting automated vehicles, as Councilmember Charles Allen points out on Ex-Twitter. Still, Waymo was Way Mo fun than I anticipated.
Speaking of driving, some people aren’t good at it. PoPville
And speaking of H Street, y’all, that AutoZone is not going a n y w h e r e. Urban Turf
And speaking of things that should go, ran across this interest form that might interest you, too. ByeBowser
And speaking of things that went, the Ugly Mug/Valor Brewpub/Chupacabra are gone for good, after 20 rowdy years. Barred in DC on Ex-Twitter
If the Commanders are returning to DC, we need the infrastructure to support a whole bunch of people coming through on game days. That obviously means Metro needs help but maybe it’s too ambitious? And will it be ready in time? Railway Age and WUSA-9
Can we pass the DC Bottle Bill already? Office of Councilmember Brianne Nadeau
This is a little old news but if you haven’t heard about it, then it’s new to you: There is a new market in Ward 8 and that’s pretty great! WTOP
Another slightly old bit of news, but National Community Church is renovating the Barracks Row car barn because, believe it or not, not only is that space HUGE but there are parts that sit underutilized. Expect a new events space and––gird thine loins, Hillizens!–– a COFFEE SHOP. Washington Business Journal