photo by patriotworld
Mother’s Day is this Sunday so if you haven’t yet sent a card or ordered flowers hop to it. Unlike with most of the “Hallmark Holidays” I hear less grumbling about the commercialization of the day. Perhaps it’s that accumulation of a lifetime of maternal guilt that keeps us from complaining too much?
For most of us, we remember mom with a card, maybe some flowers. If she’s local perhaps we take her to brunch and if she’s far away a, phone call must do. This doesn’t stop jewelers, mattress companies and cruise lines from trying to guilt you into dropping some serious cash. This morning Apple thoughtfully emailed me a gift guide of Apple products just for Mom.
Really?
We tend to be pretty low key (read cheap) when it comes to holiday gift giving in my household so I doubt either my kids or my husband will be giving me the iPad 2 I’ve always wanted. Most of my friends fall into this camp too. For me a perfect day would involve a meal out, no cleaning or laundry (hence that meal out) at all and a bit of time to myself. An afternoon walking around the Hill nosily looking at other people’s homes on the House Tour sounds great to me. I have found that as my children have gotten older and I’m not spending all day, every day with the exhausting creatures known as babies and toddlers, I no longer feel the need for a break the way I once did. Spending time with them can be fun. Of course their maturity is relative and they still don’t appreciate things like House tours and leisurely strolls so why ruin those experiences by insisting they join me?
But just for the record, I would not turn down an iPad 2. In case anyone asks.
Since we have several mom-writers here at THIH I thought I’d offer them the opportunity to share their desires for a perfect Mother’s Day. It seems we all have similar needs, desires and not-very-high expectations. I heard a similar echo from everyone; sleep, time and a bit of a break from the usual grind of child rearing/house keeping/work combo. We all would ask for a small indulgence like a pedicure and perhaps a thanks for all we do.
Angelique imagined a perfect day: “In an alternate universe, I would like to wake up on my own at some late morning hour, after having slept all night, and come downstairs to the house renovations being complete, all of the laundry done and put away, and Eddie Vedder serenading me as he pours me coffee and makes me gluten free chocolate chip pancakes, while the children are picking up toys and have forgotten how to whine. In this universe, I’ll take homemade cards, hugs and kisses, and a bottomless mimosa brunch.”
I received no requests for jewelry or cars; tummy tucks or Botox. Such simple needs. How nice!
Given permission to dream big some of us would love to travel with or without our kids, maybe even take each child separately to far off locations.
But for a few of us this holiday is a bittersweet reminder of moms no longer here and wishes for another chance at time with them. Kyra’s mom passed away not that long ago and she’s just quite not ready to celebrate this holiday. Being new to the Mom-business has given Kate a new found respect for her late mom who juggled little ones while undergoing chemo. She also gave a shout out to her step-mom, “big-hearted, a mean cook and only a little bit judgey.” All excellent qualities in a Mom be she step or any other kind.
This whole discussion brought up for us that these holidays, while commercial and yet another opportunity for disappointing the woman who gave us life, do serve as an annual marker and reminder that we really should be treating our moms well and remembering her efforts on our behalf.
I see my friends shuffling kids to sports and activities that bore them to tears; fighting uphill battles for special ed services in schools; pumping breast milk in an office broom closet; sewing elaborate pirate costumes and patiently helping with difficult homework. It’s not an easy job, no one is perfect at it (although some are awfully close-that pirate costume was amazing) and there’s no right How To manual to follow but we try. So fellow moms, go get a pedicure and a mimosa and put your feet up for a bit.
Happy Mother’s Day to you.