25 Mar 2013

A Rivalry Worthy of the NCAA: Dubliner vs. Kelly's

If you were to compare college basketball to DC bars, the Dubliner and Kelly’s Irish Times would be the Duke vs. UNC match-up of the NCAA tournament.

It’s a historic rivalry, rooted in tradition and proximity. Instead of Tobacco Road, this rivalry plays out on F Street, NW. They are two bars that have stood the test of time. Ask anyone which bar they prefer, and you’re likely to get a straight answer — it’s one or the other, you can’t have it both ways.

The Dubliner is by definition a Syracuse fan bar, but think of it as if it were Cameron Indoor. It’s got the architectural beauty, confined charm, and years of history that every bar in DC wishes it had. Folks that choose the Dubliner over Kelly’s Irish Times, also exhibit an air of Duke-like superiority. They drink Magners instead Miller Lite, prefer Black & Tans to car bombs, and order shepherd’s pie instead of cheesy bacon tater tots.

Which brings me to my next point: Kelly’s Irish Times serves cheesy bacon tater tots. This is a bar for the masses, or at least that’s what the writing on the wall says. On the front of the building reads, “Give me your thirsty, your famished, your befuddled masses.” Just as there are more UNC to Duke students per North Carolina square inch, there always seems to be more “befuddled masses” inside the Times. On any given night you’ll encounter some of the bar’s archetypes: the wandering tourist, the just-off-the-clock Hill staffer, the drunken Catholic University student (head towards the basement), or the tried-and-true regular, who always has a seat at the bar reserved, no matter the crowd swell.

It may not be the NCAA tournament, but these two bars have a rivalry just as real as March Madness. The only thing left to do is vote and see who advances on to tournament play in The Hill is Home brackets.

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One response to “A Rivalry Worthy of the NCAA: Dubliner vs. Kelly's”

  1. monkeyrotica says:

    I gave up on the Dubliner when I caught our server sticking her friends’ beers on our tab. When confronted, the manager said, “Well, the computer doesn’t lie.” Never had that problem with Irish Times.

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